Yule: Hey Jay? Remember when you broke your arm?Jay: Yeah. That was a while ago. Why?
Yule: It scared me. I was worried your arm would never heal.
Jay: It's fine.
Yule: Good. You know, when that happened I was also kind of scared that I'd break my own arm.
Jay: Well I hope you never do.
Yule: Thanks, Jay.
Jay: No problem.
Yule: So...Christmas is coming up pretty fast.
Jay: Yes it is. You see they're already selling Christmas lights in stores.
Yule: Consumerism, huh?
Jay: Yep. Everybody's buy buy buy.
Yule: Anything you want for Christmas?
Jay: Nah. I'm good.
Yule: I'll figure something out.
Jay: Well just so you know, you don't have to.
Yule: I know. You don't either.
Jay: You know what I don't want, right?
Yule: What?
Jay: Another broken arm.
Yule: (laughs) No! Who'd want that?
Jay: Not me.
Yule: Maybe I would...Sometimes I think that maybe subconsciously I like pain.
Jay: What makes you say that?
Yule: Well, I don't know. I guess the life decisions I make. Sometimes I do things I know aren't in my best interest.
Jay: Like what, for example?
Yule: Like I poison myself a little each day.
Jay: You poison yourself? No you don't.
Yule: I do.
Jay: Well I do to. There you go; we're both poisoning ourselves. What do you use?
Yule: My poisons are meat and dairy products.
Jay: And my poisons are non-organic foods.
Yule: Your poison slowly kills your body.
Jay: Your poison slowly kills your soul.
Both: Together, we are dead. Mind, body, soul.
Yule: I want a cheeseburger.
Jay: I want a store-bought apple.
Both: What do we do? How many nooses will we tie around our necks? Lali-ho! Two strangers approach.
Calf: I'm an orphan, but it smells like my mom. It smells like my mom in your belly!
Organic Apple Tree: Why has everyone turned their back on me? Can't you see that I provide safe and healthy food?
Calf: I'm all alone. I'm alone and hungry.
Organic Apple Tree: Come, young cow, Take nourishment in the fruit that I bear.
Yule: I wish we could be like them.
Jay: Why? They're so sad!
Yule: Jay, if we were like them, then we wouldn't be like us. That means We never would have eaten the Calf's mom. We never would have forgotten about Organic Apple Trees.
Jay: So then -
Yule: Right. They'd have nothing to be sad about.
Jay: I wish we could change it. I wish we could undo what we have done.
Yule: Jay, I once had the power to go back in time. I could have changed this. But I lost that power when I ate my first cheeseburger.
Jay: If you'd never eaten that first cheeseburger, we wouldn't need to go back in time anyway.
Yule: That's technically true.
Jay: Hey Yule?
Yule: Yeah.
Jay: I know what I want for Christmas now.
Yule: What's that?
Jay: A new car.
Yule: A new car? Why?
Jay: So we can drive away from all of this poison. So we can drive away from all the sadness we've caused.
Yule: Ain't no roads that go that far, Jay. Ain't no roads.
