Billy: The winter harvest is dread, and the harvest is sure to be fruitful
Gale: Souls and fear, fear and souls. Blood, blood, rivers of blood.
Billy: Yes, Gale. And I offer you this decapitation proclamation: Death approaches at various speeds, but always too fast.
Gale: I agree. When will Death arrive? No one knows, but he only visits once.
Billy: The unwelcome guest that bears the gift of nothingness, flavored with regret.
Gale: I enjoy our conversations, Billy.
(doorbell rings)
Billy: As do I. But say no more - I heard the doorbell!
Gale: The doorbell rang just as we were talking of death approaching? What if it’s Death, Billy?! Don’t open that door!
Billy: Well…let me just take a little look out the peephole.
(Billy looks through the hole)
Gale: Well who is it?
Billy: Nobody. No one. Somebody just put a coupon for pizza on our porch.
Gale: Did you see anybody walking away?
Billy: No. Death is the unseen visitor.
Gale: Oh I don’t want to start that again. Can we talk about someone other than Death?
Billy: I thought you said that you enjoy our conversations…
Gale: I do, but when the doorbell rang right after we were talking about Death, I got kinda creeped out.
Billy: Fine. If you think death is too near to-
(doorbell rings)
Gale: Oh my God, Billy!
Billy: Oh come on, Gale. It’s probably just more pizza coupons.
(Billy looks through keyhole as Gale tenses with fear)
Billy: Ah ha! What did I tell you? More pizza coupons. Man, those guys are hitting the neighborhood hard today!
Gale: I guess so. Anyway, what were you saying? It wasn’t about Death, was it?
(doorbell rings and Billy looks again)
Billy: (somewhat scared) Pizza coupon again. This is getting weird.
Gale: I think it’s Death, Billy.
Billy: So what then? It’s death? Death is coming to our house and –
(doorbell rings)
Billy: Fucking doorbell! - and leaving pizza coupons just to mess with us?
Gale: Would that really be so weird, Billy?
Billy: Yeah it would, Gale. I can’t exactly picture death just walking around pranking people with coupons.
Gale: So you’re an expert on death?
Billy: It’s a concept! It’s not a person. We were just personifying it to seem edgy!
Gale: I wasn’t. Death is real and Death is a person. I’ve been capitalizing the D the whole time. I’ve met him! That’s why it creeps me out with all these pizza coupons!
Billy: You have? You…what did he look like?
Gale: Scary.
(doorbell rings)
Billy: What if it’s not a prank, Gale?
Gale: What do you mean?
Billy: What if Death is telling us to order pizza? What if we need to order pizza to live?!
Gale: But Billy, what if Death is telling us that ordering a pizza will kill us?
Later:
Gale: I’m not eating this pizza, Billy, and I don’t want you to either. I don’t want you to die!
Billy: And I don’t want you to die either! Eat the pizza!
Death: I’m not gonna say what you should do, but I’m glad you used the coupons.
