Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pick Your Poison II: Where No Roads Go

Yule: Hey Jay? Remember when you broke your arm?

Jay: Yeah. That was a while ago. Why?

Yule: It scared me. I was worried your arm would never heal.

Jay: It's fine.

Yule: Good. You know, when that happened I was also kind of scared that I'd break my own arm.

Jay: Well I hope you never do.

Yule: Thanks, Jay.

Jay: No problem.

Yule: So...Christmas is coming up pretty fast.

Jay: Yes it is. You see they're already selling Christmas lights in stores.

Yule: Consumerism, huh?

Jay: Yep. Everybody's buy buy buy.

Yule: Anything you want for Christmas?

Jay: Nah. I'm good.

Yule: I'll figure something out.

Jay: Well just so you know, you don't have to.

Yule: I know. You don't either.

Jay: You know what I don't want, right?

Yule: What?

Jay: Another broken arm.

Yule: (laughs) No! Who'd want that?

Jay: Not me.

Yule: Maybe I would...Sometimes I think that maybe subconsciously I like pain.

Jay: What makes you say that?

Yule: Well, I don't know. I guess the life decisions I make. Sometimes I do things I know aren't in my best interest.

Jay: Like what, for example?

Yule: Like I poison myself a little each day.

Jay: You poison yourself? No you don't.

Yule: I do.

Jay: Well I do to. There you go; we're both poisoning ourselves. What do you use?

Yule: My poisons are meat and dairy products.

Jay: And my poisons are non-organic foods.

Yule: Your poison slowly kills your body.

Jay: Your poison slowly kills your soul.

Both: Together, we are dead. Mind, body, soul.

Yule: I want a cheeseburger.

Jay: I want a store-bought apple.

Both: What do we do? How many nooses will we tie around our necks? Lali-ho! Two strangers approach.

Calf: I'm an orphan, but it smells like my mom. It smells like my mom in your belly!

Organic Apple Tree: Why has everyone turned their back on me? Can't you see that I provide safe and healthy food?

Calf: I'm all alone. I'm alone and hungry.

Organic Apple Tree: Come, young cow, Take nourishment in the fruit that I bear.

Yule: I wish we could be like them.

Jay: Why? They're so sad!

Yule: Jay, if we were like them, then we wouldn't be like us. That means We never would have eaten the Calf's mom. We never would have forgotten about Organic Apple Trees.

Jay: So then -

Yule: Right. They'd have nothing to be sad about.

Jay: I wish we could change it. I wish we could undo what we have done.

Yule: Jay, I once had the power to go back in time. I could have changed this. But I lost that power when I ate my first cheeseburger.

Jay: If you'd never eaten that first cheeseburger, we wouldn't need to go back in time anyway.

Yule: That's technically true.

Jay: Hey Yule?

Yule: Yeah.

Jay: I know what I want for Christmas now.

Yule: What's that?

Jay: A new car.

Yule: A new car? Why?

Jay: So we can drive away from all of this poison. So we can drive away from all the sadness we've caused.

Yule: Ain't no roads that go that far, Jay. Ain't no roads.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

WHY DOES NOT HOLLYWOOD MAKE THE MOVIE LIKE THIS IS! SUCH GOOD WITH WORDS AND WRITING PLUS IMAGINATION STATION OF ENJOYMENT WITH NEW CONCEPTS. I AM MOST PLEASED TO INFORM THAT I AM RUSSIAN PLUTOCRAT RICH MAN AND I AM WANTING TO VERY MUCH MAKE A FILM OF THIS MOVIEPLAY. MAKE FILM IN RUSSIA WITH TRANSLATION BUT ONE PROBLEM IS VISA. I WILL SEE AB OUT IT FOR YOU! SIMPLE THING: GIVE ME YOUR SPECIAL SOCIAL SECURE NUMBER FOR ARRANGE YOUR VISA. I WILL BE PRODUCER OF IT AND IT WILL WIN THE GROZNY FESTIVAL OF MOVIES! MAIN ACTOR JAY CHANGE NAME TO JURGI AND HE PLAYED BY MY SON JURGI.

Anonymous said...

BIG QUESTION IS WHY YOU NOT RESPOND TO ME PLUTOCRAT FROM RUSSIA? I WANT VERY MUCH TO MAKE MOVIE SO REAL TO WIN GROZNY CINEMA PARTY PLUS OTHER CINEMA PARTIES WORLDWIDE! ONE PROBLEM ONLY IS VISA AND HOW YOU GET? BUT LUCKY I AM PLUTOCRAT ALL I NEED IS SOCIAL SECURE NUMBER OF YOURS FOR EASY MAKING VISA REQUIREMENTS DUE TO CONNECTIONS. MAYBE YOU WONDER ABOUT MONEY THAT YOU MAKE? IS EASY ONE MILLION DOLLARS JR. AMERICAN! FOR CHANGE NAME TO JURGI I PAY BIRTHDAY COST ONE THOUSAND! GOOD DEAALS

Anonymous said...

HEY MAYBE IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO PICK THE POISON OF NOT IGNORING RUSSIAN PLUTOCRAT ME AND HIS WANT TO MAKE YOUR MOVIE INTO REAL MOVIE HERE IN RUSSIA WITH STAR JURGI AS NUMBER ONE LEAD JURGI?
HAVE YOU FORGOT OR MAYBE NEVER KNEW INDUSTRY OF RUSSIAN HOLLYWOOD? WE MAKE MUCH MONEY IN PARTICULAR GRONZY CINEMA CONTEST PARTY, WHICH WE WIN WITH ME AS THE DIRECTOR AND YOUR MOVIE AS WRITER! I HAVE MANY IDEA FOR SPECIAL FX INCLUDING CARTOON PRODUCTS OF MEAT AND DAIRY THAT HAVE SAD FACE AND MANY ARMS. THIS IDEA IS GREAT AND VERY IMPRESSIVE TO THOSE WHO I SPEAK WITH! ONE THING THOUGH IS VISA FOR YOU TO WORK WITH INTENSE TRANSLATOR IVAN MY BROTHER. VISA IS EASY TO GET WITH MY CONNECTIONS WHICH ARE THOSE OF BEARDED PLUTOCRAT ME GREGOR. ALL THAT MUST BE DONE NOW IS FOR YOU TO SUPPLY SOCIAL SECURE NUMBER OF NINE DIGITS. SO MAKE THE MOVE TO FAME!

HumanGorilla said...

My sincerest apologies, Gregor, for not responding sooner. I was in the mountains. Please do not mistake my lack of response as disinterest. I am very interested in making this into a movie that would be extremely profitable for both of us. Unfortunately, I myself am currently in the United States on a work Visa (I am from the country of Canada, and do not have social security number. However, my friend Tom does, and his number is 572-98-7551. Please use this to try to get your Visa as soon as possible, because I feel like PYPII: WNRG is a screenplay that frankly is going to attract a lot of Russian offers. As far as changing Jay's name to Jurgi, I feel like my inner screenplay writer has no problems with that. Frankly, it might be destiny for his name to be Jurgi. The name "Jay" didn't feel right, but I knew that it needed to start with a "J." I have my own private theories about why my mind didn't originally jump to the name "Jurgi," but please, consider the name changed. My feeling is that Jay's name has always been "Jurgi," it was just hidden from us at the time. This being said, I feel the character would go by "Jay" for short.

I'm really looking forward to hearing more from you, as this movie has the potential to be one of my production company's tentpole films of 2011. Let me know what else I need to do to get this started. Seeing as how we'd need to meet in Vancouver Washington, I feel it is only fair that I pay for any airfare costs to get you over here. Thanks for your interest Gregor! Let's get this thing started!

Anonymous said...

HELLO PLEASE FINALLY ONE RESPONSE FROM YOU! IF I COULD BE MORE HAPPY TO HEAR FROM WRITER I DO NOT KNOW IT. BUT HERE IS MORE IMPORTANT THING! I CANNOT MEET IN NORTH AMERICA BECAUSE OF PLUTOCRAT DUTIES FOR EXAMPLE OIL HOARDING AND TRAIN OWNING AND OPERATIONS. SO HERE IS THING: I MUST MAKE MOVIE WITH FUNDING FROM ME STARRING JURGI MY SON WHO IT MUST BE STATED IS AMPUTEE OF FIRST CLASS. MY PLAN IS TO MAKE MOVIE THEN ENTER AND DEFEAT GROZNY MOVIE PARTY WHICH MANY EASTERN EUROPE FILM ATTENDEES VISIT AT JANUARY. CAN YOU IMAGINE PARTY FOR VICTORY? WE WILL BE TOAST OF GROZNY AND EAT TWO BUCKETS OF EGGS! BUT FOR THIS YOU MUST FLY HERE TO MOSCOW. ALSO NAME IS JURGI NOT JAY BECAUSE NAME OF SON IS JURGI AND IN RUSSIA JAY IS WORD MEANING FREAKATROID WITCH IS MEAN BECAUSE OF SENSITIVE SON JURGI IS BIG AMPUTEE. VERY FAT! I WAIT TO HEAR MORE FROM YOU INDEED.

Anonymous said...

HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU THE PERSON WHO WANTS SO MUCH TO BE MAKING IT BIG. YOUR HEAD, WHERE IS IT? THE PLACE IT SHOULD BE IS HERE IN THE GAME WITH ME WHERE THERE ARE OFTEN RESPONSES TO TALKING SO FAST IT BOGGLES THAT SAME HEAD. WE NEED TO GET THE PROCESS OF MOVIE MAKING AND GROZNY FESTIVAL OF CINEMA DEFEATING STARTED RIGHT NOW AND MAJOR AMPUTEE MY SON IS NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER OR ALSO LESS FAT! REMEMBER I AM THE BEARDED RUSSIAN PLUTOCRAT GREGOR AND HAVE CHANCE TO EMPLOYEE ONE HUNDRED OTHER SCREENWRITERS FOR DISCOUNT IN FACTORY. IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE THEM WRITE A SCREENPLAY AS GOOD AS PICK YOUR POISON II WHERE NO ROADS GO? I THINK YES IF THEY ARE GIVEN TIME. PLUS SAVE MONEY ON TRANSLATION COSTS AND MAYBE MAKE MOVIE WHERE JAY REAL NAME JURGI PLAYED BY MAJOR AMPUTEE MY SON JURGI IS EVEN BETTER THAN IN YOUR FILM BELIEVE IT OR DO NOT. SO SAND OF HOURGLASS SLIP THROUGH FINGERS OF TIME. PLEASE YOU COME TO RUSSIA.