Monday, June 16, 2008

Don't Call People


It is the year 2572 A.D. The future. The Global Warming… has been solved. The pollution …has been solved. Even the war crisis…has been solved. Yet, yet another problem is facing our nation like the deadly ferocity of a lion. That problem is called overpopulation. MIT students with 4.0s have made advances in food technology, sky houses, and space travel. Even though they did, overpopulation has made extra people something that’s bad. Because extra people means extra phone calls. The population explosion left phone lines so jammed that nobody could even call nobody. The United World of America Government was forced to take action. Immediately. And extreme circumstances called for extreme measures. So now, whenever somebody makes a call the government kills a random guy. When they do this, the person who made the call will feel guilty and won’t want to call again. Plus there will be one less person to use a phone in the future. But sometimes people still make phone calls.

Valtony is a government agent and it’s his job to kill somebody when a call is made. Whenever somebody calls somebody, he gets a random name is sent to him from Mr. Internet, who in 2572 is now a real person who can live forever. So one day Valtony gets the name of kill the United World of America’s Emperor. Something is bad about this! The Emperor’s name was supposed to not be on the list.

Valtony gets ready to kill the Emperor, but then he has a dream that says don’t. Somebody is a killer and wants Valtony to assassinate the Emperor! The name was sent to him on porpoise! But who is doing it that is the mystery. The dream was so real, so Valtony quits his job as a government agent so he can be a detective to see who tried to kill the Emperor. But to do the case Valtony has to make a ton of phone calls. People keep dying because of him and Valtony feels really crappy. Soon he finds out that the guy who is doing it is Mr. Internet!

How can Valtony stop Mr. Internet when he is a real person that knows everything? Valtony must hack into him and give him an Mr. Internet virus. Valtony goes to his Poltony and he asks him and he says that I need you to make a virus to kill Mr. Internet. Poltony went to MIT and so he starts to do it, but then he gets killed by a government agent because somebody in the world made a phone call. It was a coincidence. So then Valtony jumps out of the way of a bullet and takes the computer virus upstairs and forcefeeds it to non other than Mr. Internet. Mr. Internet gets sick and dies and its good because he wanted to rule the whole world that’s why he wanted the Emperor to die. Valtony calls the Emperor and says you’re safe, but its sad because when he called the Emperor a government agent coincidentally ended up killing his son. Meanwhile the same exact thing was happening on Mars, where humans have lived in since 2412.

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