Wizard: Hello, audience. I am about to say something that will surprise you. Are you ready? Ok. Here it is. Everyone is magic. Yes, even you there in the front. Unfortunately, the magic is locked inside you and chances are, you will never unlock it. Most people live their whole lives completely magic free. After all, a person’s magic can only be unlocked if they utter their magic word, and the word is unique for each person. I myself was lucky enough to say my magic word as a toddler. For me, it was the word “vinvinvinvinvinbatj.” Ever since that day I can do all the magic I want. I’m one of the lucky ones. Come with me, won’t you, as I tell you the story of another soul who unlocked his magic.
12 year-old Ted: Woah! This book says that if I somehow say my magic word, I’ll unlock the magic inside of me. Baploapah! (waits) No, that didn’t seem to do it.
Ted: Neereemincho! Hmmm…nope. Telebaponono! Not that one either. Wow. This is harder than I thought.
Ted: Chrynzimatin! Pluntunree! Zakanojandat! Fjchelbichuck! Darn it! What’s the word?!
Ted’s Mom: Honey? What are you shouting about?
Ted: I’m trying to find my magic word, Mom. Everybody has one and if you say it, if you figure out what yours is, you can do magic!
Ted’s Mom: Yanolaopz!
Ted: Dyclepticip! Helepoastopq!
Ted’s Mom: Ryepzosp! Maoeopalso! Gee, Ted. I still haven’t got it. I guess if it was easy everybody would be a wizard, huh?
Ted: I guess so. Salpchonostrobapox! There’s so many combinations, Mom. I wish…I wish dad were still alive. He’d be able to figure out his word just like that.
Ted’s Mom: I know, Honey. He was always good at that kind of stuff, wasn’t he?
Ted: Yeah... I miss him… Lestoyzelkoff!
Ted’s Mom: Ioqdosvspolav! Xlaoqplblmcnoeiuf!
(The next day)
Ted: Tauaexzyhnslk!
Ted’s Mom: You’re gonna be late for school, Ted. Come on, go catch your bus.
Ted: I’m going, I’m going. Repoiumnhic!
(Ted leaves)
Ted’s Mom: Garlalyoniliafi! (to herself) This is frustrating, but if I get it I just know it’ll be worth it! Opzbmeilkukjer!
Scene: Ted’s School
Ted’s Friend: What’s with all the weird sounds, Ted?
Ted: I read that each person has a word and if they say it, it will unlock their magic powers.
Ted’s Friend: That sounds hard. Wempoiguvelcon! Did it work? Am I magic yet?
Ted: I don’t think so, Friend. I think that when you say it, you’ll know. Farlpobwajibil!
Ted’s Friend: That one MUST have been it! Do you feel magic, Ted?
Ted: No. It’s really hard, Friend. My mom and I were trying to do it all last night. We want to bring my dad back.
Ted’s Friend: Habernamshackle!
Ted: Mirdirnimbleshimpadoo!
Ted’s Friend: Twanvonoshow!
Ted: Quandejimbabbonostrousamble!
Ted’s Friend: Teatambamram! I did it! That was it! I’m magic
Ted: Really? Good job, Friend! That’s awesome! Do some magic!
Ted’s Friend: I can’t do it when you’re watching.
Ted: Friend, did you really unlock your magic?
(Ted’s Friend runs off crying. In the distance, we hear him say “Eapmdabxoxl!” and “Ullahavanosis” and then sob even harder)
Ted: Amderloosetj!
(Meanwhile)
Ted’s Mom: Eyptoamget! Obonobojajam!
At the end of the film, Ted finally stumbles upon his magic word. A blinding orange glow envelopes him, and when it fades Ted has a grey beard and a wizard hat and wizard robes.
Ted’s Mom: You did it! I’m so proud of you! Dad would have been so proud of you! What was it, Honey? What was your magic-unlocking word?
Ted: It was “Love,” Mom. It was “Love.”
Ted’s Mom: Of course. Are you…can you bring Daddy back now? I want us to be a family again.
Ted: Mom…Mom we’re already a family.
Ted’s Mom: (crying) Oh Ted. I just miss your father so much! Can’t you bring him back?
Ted: I love you mom, but I can’t. It’s just us now. We have to accept that. And anyway, that kind of magic takes the power of two wizards.
Ted’s Mom: Jylamopalogis! Kapnalonquist! Xandolobontamont! Oplinbagochambz! Appadapganoibstra!
Ted: (crying) Mom…let it go, Mom. I love you. We’re gonna be okay, Mom.
Ted’s Mom: …
Ted: Mom?
Ted’s Mom: Tapibakvonoink!
Credits
2 comments:
I wish this were real
Ghaiwsty
Ymunteylemnohoti
porjinafirtiahy wab hdals!
I feel that people actually have two magic words, one that makes them into wizards and another one that gives them amazing skills at a random sport-- for example I would be willing to bet anyone three hundred million dollars that Larry Bird got all his basketball skills from saying someting like "heqrtrswx" or "Jewbaby." And not only that but Bo Jackson happened to say TWO magic words that gave him sports skills, and got that knee injury because that angered the magic word god, Jesus.
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