Scene: A cemetery at night
(It is pouring rain. The camera searches the cemetery and finally zooms to a tombstone that is shaped like the theory of relativity. Etched into the tombstone are the words “Here lies Albert Einstein: Genius and inventor of the formula that helped invent atomic bombs.” Sad music is playing but suddenly Einstein’s tomb is struck by lightning. We hear a rumbling in the ground. The music starts to get scary. Tuffs of Einstein’s trademark hair start to peak out from the ground. FrankEinstein, reanimated, rises from his grave.)
Gravedigger: Einstein? No! It can’t be! You’re dead!
FrankEinstein: You’re right! I was dead. But now I’m alive! ALIVE!!
Gravedigger: Oh my god! Nobody is gonna believe this. It’s so unreal!
(FrankEinstein lumbers away, arms outstretched)
Gravedigger: Man, I’ve got to call Ollie about this!
(Gravedigger gets out his cell phone and calls Ollie.)
Gravedigger: Ollie! It’s me! Yeah…yeah I know what time it is! But you’re not gonna believe what just happened! Lightning just struck Einstein’s grave and he…..well let me finish! Lightning struck Einstein’s grave and he rose from the dead! ….You shutup! I am being serious! He rose from the dead and then just walked on out of here….No, I didn’t follow him! It was creepy as hell! Oh, and hey Ollie? This is unrelated, but Veronica kicked me out this morning and I kinda need a place to crash tonight. Would it be okay if I slept on your couch? Just for a couple of nights. I promise….Thanks, man.
(The gravedigger washes up, gets in his car and drives towards Ollie’s house. He slowly drives by the science laboratory and we see that it has been broken into)
Gravedigger: Oh man! FrankEinstein must have really missed science!
(One of the lights in the science laboratory turns on and high up in the window, we see FrankEinstein slowly wave to the gravedigger as he drives out of sight)
Gravedigger: (to himself) I feel kinda bad for that dude. There’s no way that science laboratory didn’t have an alarm. Shoot. The cops are gonna come. I mean, who wants to rise from the dead just to go to jail?
(Sirens race past the gravedigger, obviously headed toward the science laboratory.)
Gravedigger: Oh man. I knew it.
(The gravedigger turns his car around and goes to the science laboratory. He arrives in time to witnesses FrankEinstein get handcuffed and rather forcefully be put into a squad car. The police car drives away and FrankEinstein stares woefully on at the gravedigger through his rear window.)
Gravedigger: (to himself) Poor guy. He just wanted to keep learning… I wonder what’s going to happen to him. Shoot. I better get on over to Ollie’s. I’m beat!
(The gravedigger arrives at Ollie’s house and falls asleep on his couch. When he wakes up it is 2:00 in the afternoon.)
Gravedigger: Time for my soaps!
(the gravedigger turns on the television and finds that his favorite soap opera is being preempted with news. The news about FrankEinstein’s arrest!)
Gravedigger: Dude!
(the camera watches the gravedigger watch television on Ollie’s couch)
TV Anchorperson: If you’re just tuning in, Einstein rose from the dead last night and broke into a science laboratory. This FrankEinstein was then arrested, and is currently being charged not only for breaking and entering, but also for war crimes because he was pretty much responsible for the atomic bomb. And while one can argue about whether or not the bombs should have been dropped, one simply can not argue that the decision wouldn’t have needed to have been made if Einstein didn’t figure out the bomb thing in the first place.
Gravedigger: Give me a break, dude! You’re making him like, the scapegoat for something that happened 60 years ago!
TV Anchorperson: We go now live to the trial.
TV Judge: How do you plead, FrankEinstein?
FrankEinstein: Not guilty, your honor.
(The people within the courtroom gasp and then start booing)
TV Judge: Let’s just begin the trial now. I hear you’re representing yourself, FrankEinstein?
FrankEinstein: I am.
TV Judge: I would advise against that. You may wish to utilize the experience of a lawyer.
FrankEinstein: With all due respect your honor, I am the smartest person in the world.
TV Judge: Agreed.
FrankEinstein: If I think I can represent myself, maybe you should respect that.
Gravedigger: (watching TV from Ollie’s home) That’s right, FrankEinstein! You tell that jerk!
TV Judge: Duly noted. Shall we begin?
TV Prosecuting Attorney: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it is because of the accused, Mr. Albert FrankEinstein, that many, many people died. His brain made it possible to make atomic bombs. These weapons have proved devastating not only in regards to human loss, but also in the tensions their mere existence has put on countries. i.e.
Gravedigger: This trial is crazy. I wonder if Ollie has any tuna fish.
(the gravedigger gets off the couch and finds some canned tuna. He continues to watch television as he makes himself a sandwich)
FrankEinstein: Members of the jury, I just rose from the grave last night. Imagine how excited I was. I was in the future! There was so much for me to discover! Imagine my surprise when I found out it was all bullshit because seriously, you’re trying me for a crime that didn’t break any laws.
(Gravedigger eats his sandwich and nods along to the TV as FrankEinstein talks.)
FrankEinstein: Look. I’m alive. I’ve risen from the dead and it’s strange but here I am. And yes, maybe I shouldn’t have broken into the science laboratory. That was my fault. That was my mistake. But I was just so interested to see what people have discovered since I died! My heart has always been with science, and I hope you can empathize with my curiosity.
Gravedigger: (to himself) I should do something for Ollie, since he’s putting me up. Maybe buy him groceries or pizza or something.
(The gravedigger continues watching TV)
FrankEinstein: Am I really to be tried for war crimes just because I’m so smart that I’m responsible for the atomic bomb? Please, people. Please. I didn’t drop the bomb.
TV Prosecuting Attorney: Well you’re at least an accessory!
Gravedigger: FrankEinstein, hop into my sidecar! Quickly!
(FrankEinstein gets into the sidecar of the gravedigger’s motorcycle. The two speed off, with the police in chase.)
FrankEinstein: You! You’re that gravedigger! What are you doing here?
Gravedigger: There’s no time to explain! But I was interested in your case and I watched it in it’s entirety at my friend’s house. I was on your side the whole time, and when they found you guilty I just couldn’t believe it. They were going to execute you for something that wasn’t your fault at all! So I asked my friend Ollie if he’d help me rescue you. He’s the friend whose house I’ve been staying at. Even though he was on your side, he didn’t want to risk helping you. I hope you can forgive him for that, it’s just that he’s got a wife, two kids, and a job, and he just couldn’t risk losing them. I was mad about his refusal to help at first, and we fought for awhile. But then I saw his point. But I couldn’t rescue you by myself, I didn’t even own a motorcycle, let alone one with a sidecar. But I knew somebody who did. My ex-girlfriend Veronica. We had been living together for about six months – it’s common in this day and age – and things hadn’t been going well. She didn’t think I had any drive. She kicked me out the day you rose from the grave, and I didn’t know how to get her back. But when I saw you were going to be executed so they could have a scapegoat, it didn’t even matter that we had a past. I just went to her place, rung the doorbell, and said, “I need to borrow your motorcycle with the sidecar so I can rescue FrankEinstein.” She just looked at me for a second smiled, hugged me and kissed me, and gave me the keys.
FrankEinstein: Well I thank you.
Gravedigger: No problem, man! Where do you want to go?
(FrankEinstein draws a gun and holds it to the gravedigger’s head)
FrankEinstein: Take me to the science laboratory. I need equipment to build an atomic bomb. I’m going to drop it on people.
Gravedigger: But…I was sure you were innocent!
FrankEinstein: Well I fooled you. It was easy for me. I’m the smartest man in the world Now take me to the science laboratory. Take me there before I blow your head off!
1 comment:
Great screenplay. It is impossible for me to believe that no one before has ever noticed the similarity between the name Frankenstein and Einstein and made a terrifying thriller about it. That said, don't you think your movie could use a healthy dose of realism? I suspect that the real Albert Einstein, were he to come back to life, would be much more interested in destroying the earth with an out of control black hole, or "death star."
Also, have you ever looked at that screenplay site "Screaminglygoodscreenplays.blogspot.com?" He's got a lot of pretty solid ideas on there. I also recommend you check you ManyManyGooniesSequels.org, which is a clearing house for serious screenplays written by people serious about sequels to the movie Goonies.
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