Scene: An old rickety mansion that is lit by oil lamps. It is the year 1944. A group of distinguished people have all just arrivedMr. Galton: Thank you all for coming.
Tess Moonbloom: But why are we here? Why have we been summoned? Who are you?
Mr. Galton: You may call me Mr. Galton, and you are here because one of you…in this very room…is a magical Wizard.
Orson Frock: I agree. My apologies, gentlemen, I didn’t realize this would be such a clear waste of time. I must be leaving.
Mr. Galton: Yes. Precisely the words a wizard would say.
Orson Frock: I see. You’re saying I’m the wizard?
Mr. Galton: No. But you very well might be. And your urgency to leave certainly raises suspicions.
Tess Moonbloom: Yes…yes it does….He is a wizard! Kill him!
Mr. Galton: Kill him? I believe a magical wizard would suggest that as well.
Tess Moonbloom: But I’m not a wizard!
Orson Frock: She’s the wizard! Kill her!
Mr. Galton: Mr. Frock, I have just stated that suggesting we kill a wizard is something a wizard would do. When combined with your other statement about leaving, you are up to two wizard points. Tess, you’re at one wizard point. Everyone else: zero.
Diana Ellington: I’m speechless! Speechless!
Mr. Galton: I should hope that’s not true, Mrs. Ellington. For if you are the wizard, being speechless would leave you unable to cast spells.
Diana Ellington: So now you’re accusing me? How many points am I at?
Mr. Galton: Is that a peacock feather in your hat?
Diana Ellington: …Yes.
Mr. Galton: You’re at 1 wizard point.
Diana Ellington: Absurd.
Mr. Galton: 2 wizard points! You see, I’m afraid I’m accusing everyone here of magical wizardry. While only one of you is a true magical wizard, despite my best efforts I’ve not been able to determine who.
(Mr. Galton hovers a foot off of the ground)
Tess Moonbloom: Mr. Galton! You’re…you’re floating!
Mr. Galton: What?! Who’s doing this?! Who’s making me float?! Whoever it is, this is worth 5 wizard points!!
(Mr. Galton continues to hover, flailing his arms and feet, but still unable to touch the ground)
Mr. Galton: Stop it right now or God help me, when I find out who did this it will be worth 10 wizard points!
(Mr. Galton falls to the ground, shaken but otherwise unharmed)
Mr. Galton: Was that you, Mr. Banter? Were you making me float? You’ve been awfully quiet lately.
Mr. Galton: Very wise, Mr. Banter. I like that. But was it wise like a wizard? Because that I don’t like!
Mr. Galton: Very well. No points. Nevertheless, as my floating has clearly proven, magical wizards are real and there is one among us right now. By the end of the night, I promise you we will know who it is.
Later, in the parlor with the red leather chairs
Mr. Galton: No, Mr. Banton. You currently have only 3 wizard points. That is not what I find worrisome. What I find worrisome is the fact that you have 14, Mr. Banton, Fourteen Dracula points!
Mr. Galton: 15 Dracula points! It’s three o’clock in the morning. The sun will be coming up in a few hours. And maybe that doesn’t scare our mysterious wizard, but I bet it scares you, doesn’t it Mr. Dracula?
Mr. Galton: Very well.
Later, in the ballroom with the checkerboard floor
Tess Moonbloom: Do tell us, Mr. Galton. How did you come to believe that the wizard was one of us?
Mr. Galton: A note was left on my doorstep. It said so right on it.
Diana Ellington: A note? Let me see it.
Mr. Galton: No. I lost it.
Diana Ellington: You lost it? I don’t believe you. You know what I think? I think there never was a note, Mr. Galton. I think we’re here at the whim of a madman.
Mr. Galton: Mind reading! That’s 4 wizard points! You’re up to 11 wizard points now, Mrs. Ellington! I suggest you watch it.
Orson Frock: I just want to go home!
Mr. Galton: No one’s going home! No! Everyone’s staying right here. With me. There’s a wizard in this house. We’re going to find him. And, if while we’re looking for him we all become friends, would that really be so bad?
Tess Moonbloom: What are you saying, Mr. Galton?
Mr. Galton: (sighs) I guess…I guess what I’m saying is… wizard hunting doesn’t have to be such lonely work. I just want to be friends with you.
(A fireball starts to form out of thin air. Then it goes away without doing anything)
Orson Frock: Mr. Galton, how can we be friends with you? We’ve known you for a total of 5 hours, and the entire time you’ve just been accusing us of magical wizardry.
Mr. Galton: My apologies, Orson. Can I call you Orson? Allow me to explain. You see, if someone gave you the chance to be a wizard, wouldn’t you take it? Understand - You wouldn’t have to be a bad wizard. You could be a good one. My meaning is that wizards can fly and make fireballs and enchant things and all of those things sound very enticing! Personally, I think being accused of magical wizardry is more of a compliment than anything else. I apologize for any misunderstanding Orson, but I’ve been trying to compliment you – and all of the other guests – for these last 5 hours.
Diana Ellington: Yes. Thank you.
Tess Moonbloom: Mr. Galton? It’s me. I’m the magical wizard.
Mr. Galton: 10 wizard points! Kill her! She’s the devil’s spawn!
Later, in the billiard room with floating daggers waiting outside every door:
Mr. Galton: We’re overmatched! The only one who can defeat her is Dracula!
Mr. Galton: Another Dracula point! That’s 17 points now,
Mr. Galton: Then we’re doomed.
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